Grape Nuts and Backstreet Boys

For at least two years, there has always been someone living in my apartment. No mass exodus of apartment 98; it's just that great. But because no six occupants ever moved out at the same time, the apartment was never completely cleaned out, as evidenced by the various objects that with random initials that we routinely find. For example, there's an abandoned laundry detergent that says 'KH' on the lid. Every time I use it, I go through a mental checklist: JS... AH... ES... SC... NF... Nope, I'm good. So the other day, Sadie was looking through our cupboards and pulled out an almost-full box of Grape Nuts with a C on it, aka free game. YOU GUYS. You don't understand the amount of childhood that overwhelmed me when I opened those Grape Nuts, poured myself a bowl, and stuck it in the microwave. I got this weird giddy kind of excitement that makes you a little teary eyed because childhood is just so wonderful and you want it back more than anything. And yes... I microwave my Grape Nuts. I don't know how I acquired that habit, but it tastes so much better that way, I promise.

Along with my Grape Nuts (which I faithfully ate every morning, and are now all gone...), there have been a number of things this week that have reminded me of being a kid:

1. Last night at the ward indexing party (yes, that's right), Adam was playing all kinds of music from his laptop, and then he suddenly started playing the soundtrack of That Thing You Do! THAT THING YOU DO! Nothing screams childhood more than this. I cannot count the amount of times Claire and I listened to that song and danced on the couch. I love that soundtrack. Much to Adam and Jennie's disgrace, however, I have never seen the movie. I probably should. ASAP.
Update: I have seen it and it is AMAZING

2. Applesauce with cereal on top. I'm eating this. right. now. And it is delicious! Claire and I have a little tune that we would sing while we were making this tasty treat. It goes like this:
Apple sauce
with cereal
on to-o-o-o-o-o-p!
Brilliant, I know. ("That's just weak song writing. You wrote a bad song, Petey.") And since I know you all want to try this little concoction, the recipe is quite simple. Pour apple sauce in a bowl. Now pick out one of your favorite cereals and pour on top of the apple sauce. Get a spoon from your silverware drawer and devour. For best results, use Honey Bunches of Oats!


3. Backstreet Boys. The other day when Jennie, Emily, Natalie and I were getting ready for school, we had a Backstreet Boys fest. Needless to say, it was wonderful, and much needed. The most vivid Backstreet Boys memory I have is driving 9 and a half hours to Utah with my whole family, and me insisting that we listen to the same CD the whole time. Request fulfilled. Best car trip ever.

Well, that's all I can really think of that's happened this week that made me reminisce. Food and listening to music. I guess that is what my life revolves around, right? There have also been a lot of Star Wars and Disney references, but I think that's applicable to almost every person's youth. Ah, those were the days...

Learn, then do.

Here's a quick rundown

and here's how to do something about it.

Bear in mind that if either SOPA or PIPA passes, I won't be able to link to things like that any more.

And I wouldn't be able to share these little pictures that I know y'all enjoy oh so much:

This is how I feel about my roommates.

Got that from the internet, people.

Words of wisdom from Nate Ruess

Oh, be calm.

Be calm.

I know you feel like you were breaking down.

I know that it gets so hard sometimes,

Be calm.

Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.

You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive

and everything's wrong

It just gets so hard sometimes

Be calm.


Also I'm obsessed with this video: We Are Young, by fun.

ALSO NATALIE FULLER IS MY HERO. Life would not be a party without this girl.

It's not just one thing

Humiliation is coursing through my veins and redemption is impossible. Why can't I just be myself lately? Urggh.

It's never one thing. Single events hardly phase me -- it's always a bunch of unrelated events that I can deal with, one after another, cool. I'm still fine. But just one more -- and there's not a certain number, so I can never predict when this is going to happen -- one more thing will happen that just pushes me over the edge. One event means everything and defines my existence for days to come. How? Sure, it was important to me, but it wasn't that important. It shouldn't have had such a huge effect. I shouldn't have cared that much. But I have all these repressed cares that have been ignored for the past few weeks because I keep insisting that I'm fine; I have emotions that I didn't even know were there that just come spilling out because of one event. One single, humiliating event just does me in.

P.S.

There seems to be a general feeling of anxiousness for the new semester, so I just wanted to say that I feel it too.

I realized on December 23rd how nervous I am to go back to school. (I wrote about it in my journal. I don't just remember dates like that, hah.) I'm scared to enter into new classes where I know no one, to try in vain (again) to make friends, to try to figure out what I want to major in, what I want to do with my life, etc etc. I've changed so much this semester, in some good ways but also in some ways that I don't like. It's going to take a lot to reverse some of those changes, but I need to feel like myself again.
It's so weird. A year ago, I wanted nothing more than to be at BYU. I was ecstatic when I got accepted. And don't get me wrong, I love it. But it's so different, and I'm not completely used to it yet. When I want something, I often think that it'll be perfect immediately and I'll love every second of it. I forget how much time and work it takes to get used to things. I didn't love Hawaii instantly; it wasn't until second semester that I fell in love with it and realized that it was a home to me. So I'm hoping that the same thing will happen this semester. Sigh. Fingers are crossed :)

It is a huge comfort, though, that I live with some amazing girls. (And if they all had blogs, I'd link to all of them.) And I'm not alone in this. There is someone who knows exactly how I feel.

"[W]herever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear."

I love it when the free iTunes singles of the week are good! Little Talks, by Of Monsters and Men. Oh yes.

I've never really gotten into the hype of New Year's. It's probably my least favorite holiday -- next to Valentine's Day, that is. Yes, I'm just another bitter single person who hates on the holiday because she's got nobody to love. Anyway, New Year's. I just don't think it deserves all the hooplah that it gets. January 1st is just another day to me, no different than the one before. And New Year's Eve isn't super special either; it's the same thing every year. We wait up till midnight, drink some bubbly, and hug each other. La dee dah. I've never made any resolutions either, probably because I'd be kidding myself if I thought I'd even keep them for more than a week. However, this year, I actually made some! They're little and simple, but I didn't want to bite off more than I can chew.
1. Learn a new song on the piano every month
Achieving this might be a little difficult since I don't have whenever-I-feel-like-it access to a piano, but... I'll find a way.
2. Make friends in all of my classes
Um, yeah. I don't wanna be that person that sits in the back and doesn't talk to anyone anymore. That's not like me at all.
3. Don't be anti-social
This one is kind of weird because I don't think it's anything I can check off or say, "Yes, I accomplished that on this day." I'll just have to look back and evaluate. But it's really important because I feel like I was not my complete self this past semester, and I don't want to feel that way again. I want to be my weird self without feeling like I'm pretending or forcing it.
4. Don't get married.
...This is kind of a joke, kind of not. According to Claire and Eric, at BYU, one is never more than 6 months away from being married. I don't think it's going to be a struggle, I just wanted to make sure there would be one resolution I would actually keep :)


See ya tomorrow, Provo. I've missed you.