Thursday, March 29, 2012

Build a bridge and get over it.

I'm a horrible person. I feel like every day, I realize this more and more. I am judgmental and intolerant. So I've been compiling a list of things that really bother me, because if you read all these things and pretend they bother you too, you'll realize that you don't like yourself for it and you'll know how I feel on a daily basis!

But really, whenever someone asks me what my pet peeves are, I have no idea what the heck to say. So a few months ago, I got the idea to start writing them down when they came to me. Here's what I've got so far:

1. When people apologize for needing to walk past me. For some reason people feel extremely sorry when they brush past me, or they think I'll get mad or something. All you need to do is say 'excuse me.' I promise I will not get angry.
2. When people start off text conversations with "Hey." A wise woman once said, "Starting off a text conversation with 'Hey' is like starting off an essay with, 'I am writing a book report on Lord of the Flies.'" ...In fact, I'm going to revise this and go as far as to say that I hate texting conversations in general. If you want to get to know me, talk to me. If you want to tell me you'll be here in 5 minutes, you can text me.
3. When people wear running shoes to school. I don't know why but this is really something that I just cannot stand. I will make a judgment about whether or not I want to bother getting to know someone solely (heh) based on what shoes he or she is wearing. Okay. Running shoes would be acceptable if, say, the person had actually been out running, realized she had class in 5 minutes, and ran straight to school instead of going home to change and showing up absurdly late. Fine, I would say. Sacrifices have to be made occasionally for scholastic purposes. But this is never the case. It's always Nikes paired with jeans or yoga pants or whatever I don't even care just STOP IT PLEASE.
4. When people take something out of the microwave before the beeper goes off and then leave without pressing 'stop' or 'clear.' You know, the button that restores the actual time of day to the microwave instead of leaving it blinking '00:13' at you for the next ten minutes.
5. When people say, "I could care less" when they really mean "I couldn't care less." There is a huge difference. And while I'm at it, I may as well say that I hate all grammar mistakes, including the ones that I make. You have no idea how much it bothers me that I don't always use correct grammar, or worse, that I don't always know what the correct grammar is. Gah. Worse feeling ever.
6. When I'm talking with someone I've recently met and he or she says things like, "I'm the type of person that makes friends with everyone" or, "I'm the type of person that everyone gets along with." Really? Because I'm not getting along with you.
7. When people don't close the fridge all the way. I'm 100% sure that I get this from my dad, who made a sign for the freezer in our garage that reads, "Please, for Daddy's mental health, LOCK THIS DOOR!"
8. When people feel no remorse for having woken me up from a nap or any form of slumber. This just ticks me off. I'm really grumpy when I don't get enough sleep. The least you could do is apologize.

That's enough for now. But do you see what I mean? I'm just awful. I've tried to be patient and understanding. I keep my devilish thoughts to myself, at least (with the exception of writing them all down here), but I still think them and get upset when people break any of Bronwyn's Rules for Life that they didn't know about because really, it's just how I wish people would behave.

Maybe I should make a sign. I'll write 87 more of these babies and post them on the wall of a church.
...Or maybe I'll just take this 8 year old's advice. Probably the latter.

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